PSALM 84

 So I have been embracing having fun. I have been embracing doing things I enjoy. And I have been bold to enjoy on my own. So, I bought tickets to Hamilton… again…. I loved the show. I knew I wanted to see it again and share the experience with others.  Lately I think about having fun, and sharing that with others. More and more I think about sharing things with my kiddos. I have this desire to expose the kids to so much more. Knowing me, soon I will be buying plane tickets to other countries!  This is a big deal because I used to put fun on the back burner. However as I see a colorful cast of excellence belting witty lyrics, a fire burns in me. So now I choose to take the glowing ember and ignite others… What is burning inside of you that you are supposed to share with others?  

This one is brief. The Monday after the very first Resurrection Sunday didn’t look any different for most people. The tomb was empty, but how many people knew? Furthermore, how many people had actually seen the risen Jesus just yet?  Maybe you’re tired. I know I am. But just because its Monday doesn’t mean He didn’t do it. Many people had no idea how the world had been changed on that Monday. But Hell knew that EVERYTHING had changed! Don’t lose hope. Maybe that pressure you feel is the evaporation of Hell’s hope in your defeat. Stay locked in. The good news is on the way! 

 I love a good plan. Plans make me feel safe, and the adage "plans change" can go somewhere! People with the gift of administration get knocked down just like anyone else. We have our prisons and we may lay there weeping for a time. But eventually the problems of the prison beckon to us. Before we know it we're trying to make prison run more efficiently and effectively. (See Joseph's story in the book of Genesis) The problem with us administrators is that we don't magically become content because we're experiencing a measure of success. We of course begin to plan our way out of prison. This is where all planners must run into the harsh truth of Proverbs 16:9. But why God? Why can't we plan and you cosign? Joseph had a great plan. God decided the timing was wrong. Plan shut down. The women on the way to the tomb on the very 1st Resurrection Sunday were trying to make a plan. They wondered how they would move the stone covering the tomb opening. (Mark 16:3) ...

 Sometimes we wait for the end. At the end we will see how God gets the glory. At the end we will celebrate. At the END we will tell a testimony. At the end we will smile. AT THE END we will share the things that helped us get through. Sometimes this is the way to go. Sometimes this is the best time to share.  But sometimes people need to hear from us now. Sometimes people need to hear how God is on the move in the midst. Believe it or not, God can get the glory during a situation. As I have come to a place of "you can have the glory now." I can't see how many people I am able to help. But God sees. He is the God who sees us in the midst.  Yes, it can be difficult to share when we don't know how it will all unfold. When life sucks, sometimes we don’t want to talk! There is no guarantee in God that circumstances will not disappoint us. But even in the midst of disappointment and pain, God can receive glory.   Maybe we don’t share all that’s going on, but as people obs...

 Tonight one of my kids was reasoning how it could be better to be dead. He is 9. His life sucks. And you know what he desperately wants? Foster parents that will take care of him and his brother.  Sometimes life sucks because the key players for the remedy are not in position.  I want to adopt. I want to foster. I want to get in position so I can help someone’s life suck less. When life sucks, consider how you can help someone else’s life. Don’t leave them hanging. It is possible to bloom beyond the grey of your own circumstances  

  Uno is really straight forward. 7 Cards. Get rid of them. Spades on the other hand involves predicting how your cards will leave your hand. There is an entire conversation or communication exercise rather, before the round begins. This time of bidding is an agreement of what 1 partner can expect from the other. This bid is what they will achieve together, sacrificing as necessary to support one another. But bids can be wrong. Sometimes the cards just don’t play out in your favor. And when you and your partner are set, it’s not Uno. You don’t just shrug off that you didn’t get Uno out first. You and your partner talk about what happened. Where did things go wrong? How do we make sure it doesn’t happen again? In a healthy partnership, responsibility is taken, by one if not both people. And rarely do they not make their goal again. They are better, stronger, clearer as a result of the previous mishap. But sometimes these post round reviews don’t happen. Sometimes the pride is too gr...

  Uno is a sprint. It’s all about getting out, and the faster the better. You even scheme a little to ensure that the others in the game struggle to complete the mission. You jockey for which color the Wild should make the next card played. You intentionally drop that Skip when your opponent thought victory was theirs. You’re ruthless. And it’s all a part of the game. Now once you’ve won, the others can continue playing, but first YOU must win.   Marriage includes losing to win. Unlike    in Uno, in marriage you have to consider someone else. You have to think twice, thrice, roll the dice, and consider your actions all over again. A quick maneuver to get ahead crunches your spouse’s fingers beneath your steel boot heel. Jockeying for their sabotage curdles their heart because it will eventually reach their ears.    Thinking only of yourself will capsize a marriage.    There is no sprint, no race to the finish line in marriage (well besides… no ana...

  I have no idea how long this series is going to be, but it has been on my mind for over a month. Feel free to add your observations in the comments.     You don’t have to be married, and if you don’t know spades, get in on these Uno posts!   I think it’s necessary to begin with a description of Uno, a game I love. I love winning and I win well at Uno. But Uno is every man for himself. Sometimes you consider your neighbor and you lay down a Reverse, but eventually Draw 2, Draw 4, (Draw whatever if you play house rules) comes and you attack your neighbor. Why do you attack them? Because you want to win! In marriage your spouse is your neighbor. When you attack your spouse, you lose. Why? Marriage is not Uno. It is not every man for himself, no matter how nitty gritty things seem to get.  Do you play that you can go out on a Draw 4? I love going out with a bang! Uno anyone?

The other day my new therapist asked me about what ministry I participate in. I began telling her about my day to day activities. 4 years ago I would have told her about leadership teams and Sunday opportunities. There was the day to day stuff, but that wasn’t enough. I needed to hit all of the check boxes. That way if anyone asked I could assure them that I was good enough. I could also soothe my own questioning heart.  4 years ago God began to disrupt my life under the surface. All of a sudden my authenticity was on trial, from within. And I was guilty. So much of my life was for others. Not for the love of others, but for their approval, their love. As the facade crumbled and my desire to maintain appearances faded, I was left to wrestle with a question. Do I believe God’s love for me personally?  Between an upbringing that prioritized reasoning and several years of seminary, I was able to talk of God’s love. But deep down I questioned and wrestled with ME being lovable. Pr...