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Marriage Is Not Uno, It’s Spades: Part 3 Intentional Commitment Without Distraction


Disclaimer: All references to Spades are to the focused competitive play of the game. I know some of you only know that version- but some people may play more casually and that version is not what’s referenced in this or the future analogies. 

 You can really be doing anything and get roped into an Uno game. You can keep doing almost anything and play an Uno game. Depending on your skill level you may actually win distracted. The point is that involvement in Uno can be haphazard. It does not require intentionality. It does not require planning. And it can be non committal. Uno, though played with others, can revolve around yourself “numero uno”. What’s best for you works. If you suddenly need to not play anymore- no big deal. If you get distracted, the other players can play for you or just skip over your turn. It’s just Uno.

 

A Spades game is 100% different. A marriage should be 100% different. Spades is based on a team approach with a partner. A decision to play is a commitment. It’s a commitment to focus, planning, communication, and loyalty. Any distractions allowed to sway your attention will affect your partner. And to win at Spades, intentionality is a MUST. A win won’t just happen. When have distractions caused you to shift your attention off of your marriage? How did you regain focus? What crazy distractions have come up during a Spades game? What happened to the game?

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