Skip to main content

God Sees



Today has been such a full day! As I began to reflect for a Facebook post I realized that it was blog worthy. Considering the weight of yesterday evening, the day promised to be dismal. There were responsibilities making demands on all sides. Yet, my morning flowed and I knocked out some necessary tasks, one I should have completed in July. That's a story for another blog. Anyway before 11:30, a productive sun shiny day was careening downhill. My manager had used a tone with me, concerning doing a job that should have been done by him the night before, that was barely fitting for a dog. Somehow my Colossians 3:15 had jumped out of the window, and I was strapping on my walking boots. I was ready with my teacher voice and everything "excuse me you will not speak to me that way, not today!"

I was calm on the outside and boiling on the inside. Gone were the victories of yesterday's Hindi lesson, or the simple conversation about him and his wife's different religions. My rights had been violated one too many times in 24 hours and I was through. I don't know what happened, I guess someone was praying because I didn't share my mind and was soon refereeing a situation between him and a customer. He was thankful, until he forgot- but that's later in the day. I tried to remind myself that we don't wrestle against flesh and blood. Although I think of my manager as battling and harassing me, it's really a war between Hindu beliefs and Christian beliefs. It's so much greater than me!

Anyway at the evening shift I was able to give another coworker a copy of the book of John in his language. He is struggling with the divinity of Jesus because Islam doesn't agree with that teaching. Even the money to pay for that translation was a miracle! The evening was beginning quite well! Customers returned from last week,  new ones were enjoying themselves when he struck again. Manager vs Brittany round 2. It wasn't pretty, BUT I had already been convicted concerning my rights earlier. Monthly customers came in for lunch and I took care of them like the time before. The time before they had left a $4 tip on their card and given me five in cash. Since I don't work on tips I can't keep them when the customers do that. So today since my manager appeared when it was time for money to change hands, they asked me, "now who is getting the tip?" I gleefully told them that the manager and my other coworker would be. They were indignant. They felt they had received no service from them so why should they reap the rewards of my hard labor?! Fine they said and left no tip.  When my manager received the book back with no tip I smugly said they felt you hadn't served them.  :/ It's not about tit for tat. It's about spirits and principalities in high places, it's not about me. 

During the interlude between restaurant acts, lunch and dinner, I had amazing favor with school to get registered for both winter and spring, despite the hold on my account. I also finished a lecture from 3 weeks ago, baby steps ok! And I got a message from my neighbor telling me she attended the play the night before!!!! I didn't even see her. But God sees! This is the first time that any of my neighbors have come to church! God sees the 2+ years of sowing! And when did She find out?! The night of the fire! God sees. He knows! 

So this evening something almost identical happened concerning tips with my manager, yet this time the people had been serviced by him and were greatly unhappy. I told them how to share their experiences with the owners. My manager was in rare form tonight but I tried my best to be obedient and quiet even when his directions lacked sense and negatively impacted the customers. Sure enough the female owner called to inquire how the night was going. Of course that made my manager even more angry as he said he would no longer work with me and that I was the one who had messed up. However, I kept my peace. We don't wrestle against flesh and blood. Truthfully I was starting to wonder if my impact at the restaurant was up. 

Everyone has moments of doubt. Then one of my coworkers who I recently taught how to go the library shared that he had gone all by himself today. And even as I reflect, I think of how just today the owner invited me to come work her nicer restaurant next week. Perhaps the work is just beginning. However, the evening didn't stop there. 

As I was preparing to leave I asked God whether to take the bus or the train. The train is more expensive but faster. The bus though cheaper is LIVE at night.  As I got into the bus I made my way to a seat with a calm looking individual, and fully intended to begin some reading for school. Yet, the individual spoke to me and asked me how I was! On the train people rarely speak. It's quieter and quicker. But the bus is always ripe for ministry. Praise God for obedience. We talked nonstop all the way til his stop, which he almost missed. 

Our conversation centered around the ways people try to fill their voids. Although he claimed to have studied world religion at Duke, it was clear to me that he was unsure of the path himself. I prayed as we talked, "God what would you have me to share?" The man was white haired and was familiar with the teachings of Christianity but saw them as no more potent than any other great thinker's teachings. The Cross and the Switchblade and Run Baby Run did it. Back in the day I would carry such things with me to give away in moments just like that. The other day I was reminiscing of how I'd buy the $10 case of 10 Bibles back in college to give away- Anyway I didn't have a copy of the books on me but the man listened intently. Why? This age doesn't necessarily discern truth, but they digest stories. (Thank God I did that assignment for class!) Our conversation concluded with talk of the church's play and how to get there should he be interested. 

Almost as if we had been speaking in a private taxi, the bus erupted with noise as soon as he exited. It was the typical LIVE experience. After my action packed day at  the restaurant my head was not trying to have it. I started to get up and move to the front of the bus, but praise God He reminded me of why He asked me to ride the bus, for His glory! As the "youngins" cursed and yelled and sounded on the verge of a fight I remembered a teaching from the NY church. Where you are, God is, command the spirit of peace. I began praying and the teens started clowning how one of them acts the way they do but then goes to church every Sunday. Coincidence? Soon we rolled to my stop. Placing our young adult ministry flyers into one's hand I stepped to the three and said, " when you're ready for your outer life to match your spiritual". "Oooooh she just played us!" is what I heard as I exited the bus, half bewildered at myself. I'm always amazed at how when I speak on the bus people listen. Rowdy children, backslidden pastor's sons, stubborn people who refuse to move back. It's the Spirit of God. My intent was not to "play" them, neither do I think it was God's. I think He wanted them to know that He sees them. He sees the one in church every Sunday "praying hard and ushering and ****" and He sees as they carouse through the week trying to fill their voids. Wow God, you see! 

Once off of the bus I focused in on an email from one of my favorite college students. Tears filled my eyes as I saw the faithfulness of God manifesting through their testimony. God sees! He sees! He sees! We just have to trust! And now as I struggle to keep my eye lids open as I type this blog, God sees! So excuse the typos!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Still Married, Over 2 Years Later!

  It sounds like what’s the big whoop? I’m sure most would hope that would be true 2, 10, 20 years! But we separated over 2 years ago! I filed for divorce over a year ago. Yet, here we are, still! “Final” hearing over 4 months ago.   Marriage is definitely meant to be binding, and I am not a believer of I just married the wrong person. But what about when the person doesn’t want to be married to you? What about when the person engages in abusive behaviors towards you?  Less than 5 months into my marriage I had to face dilemmas no newlywed should. It was my life that spun into a nightmare. It was my life that had looked so promising and then became so ugly. I had to wrestle with thoughts of immediate divorce vs trying to work it out/ believe God/ anything but divorce. I chose the God will fix it path. And I believed He would.  Then as time went on I changed to the God can fix it camp. But as months passed, and conversations looped, and counseling continued to be refus...

Happily Ever After?

 I was speaking with a friend the other night, and she commented that she didn’t remember the last time I was so happy. The reason she couldn’t remember was because any sort of happiness I had experienced previously had been so fleeting. She and I had met at the end of 2020. My whole life had gone through restructuring, so 2021 seemed promising.  Purposeful but painful is what 2021 turned out to be. Rather than height to height, 2021 traversed heights to valleys. What was hopeful collapsed. What was stable shifted to shaky. And what was foreign and unknown became my safety zone. I went from the familiar streets of DC to the mountains of North Carolina. I went from being one of many almost everywhere I went, to one of the only African Americans in the area. It was hard. Injustice was real, and the marriage I had been hoping for had imploded. 2022 brought new everything. New job. New place to live. New title: single mom. Constant change in which I found it hard to find more than...