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Review of Past Lessons When Wandering in Darkness



It seems to be becoming tradition that around this time of year I go to see a dance performance. I go by myself and delight in the time watching the giftedness of man and enjoying time with God. 

This experience was a little different in that the show was completely Christian in theme and I ended up sitting in between people I knew from church. My question of who I could ask to give me a ride afterwards melted into the storyline of the invigorating performance. Dance- just watching it- has a way of making me come alive.  I cried. I laughed. I grinned ear to ear. And before the house lights came up both seats next to me were empty. 

The question of who to ride home with was upon me again. Do I ask one of the hundreds from the crowd? I've done that before when visiting a church. Do I wait with a somber face hoping someone will ask me? Do I call someone who lives close by, hoping they can transport me to a bus, metro, something? 

Metro was of no use. No service. Too late too far. I decided to walk. I wasn't sure of where I was going. Ultimately- towards home, but I really wasn't sure how to get there from my location. I had remembered that I arrived from the left so I journeyed back in that direction. 

The night sky was clear and the weather warm. The performance had been splendid and I had no intention of letting my current circumstances throw me into a pity party of despair. So I prayed, sang, and thanked God for the evening.

The initial decision to walk seemed like a good one as the path had a sidewalk and was well lit. I still wasn't sure about where I was headed but I trusted that God would guide me. Is it not like that when we walk with God on an unknown path? At first it seems not so bad. But then you start to wonder...where am I going?

I finally figured out how to use the map app as just that- a map. It wasn't giving me directions to anywhere I knew, but the map showed me where I had been and the possibilities for where I was headed. 

God had used the Word to instruct me the very same way this morning. Scripture after scripture about the joy and peace of those who follow and the confusion and woe of those who don't. He had also reminded me just yesterday of His miraculous leading in the midst of a tornado a few years back. 

I had set out from my apartment in Bedstuy with plans to walk to Fort Green. I noticed a few threatening looking clouds, but thought nothing of it since I had my umbrella with me. As I walked I asked God if I should stop by the library, and He said I should.

Yet, when I arrived  at the library it was closed for renovations! I was quite perturbed! Why would God direct me to a closed door?! At this point thunder began to rumble and drops began to splatter. Since I had stopped by the library I was close to the main thoroughfare of Nostrand. I decided to continue to make my way towards Fort Green using Nostrand instead of my usual back street neighborhood way. In a few moments the sky opened up and let down a torrent of waters and a flood of wind. Because I was on a main street there were buildings with scaffolding and I along with 2-3 others huddled as rain blew sideways and the streets became a swirl of garbage. In less than 10 minutes it was all over and I continued on my way. It wasn't until later that I heard about the tornado that had passed through. It wasn't until that evening when I saw downed trees blocking streets that I truly realized that God had led me and kept me safe in His arms. 


So with this testimony of extraordinary protection pulsing fresh through my mind, I knew I was safe walking this path at night. But I still didn't know where I was going. The map showed a fork in the road in which both paths dumped onto the same street eventually- but I still didn't know where I was going! Soon the sidewalk ran out and the lighting dimmed but I kept walking until slowly I began to see familiar landmarks. And finally I saw an M for Metro! I knew exactly where I was and where I was going. Although the territory looked familiar, the new problem was that I had never walked this route before. I wasn't exactly sure how to do it. But I remembered Psalm 73-God was holding my hand.  

But don't you know that once I got to the area that looked familiar, the obstacles began to increase. The street was dark and deserted in a warehouse district. Although I could see the tall buildings surrounding the Metro station, there was a highway in between them and me. As I pondered the path of getting across the highway a strange man rolled by propositioning me- of course in the exact moment of my confusion. (Take spiritual note here that temptation, distraction, and evil suggestions prevail in the midst of confusion) As I began to walk the side of the road that led initially into darkness but in the direction of the train station, I just had to sing and stay focused on God. I hoped the road was not leading to the actual highway and that no out of control car would come careening my way. 

Sometimes the moment right before you arrive at your destination is the darkest. Unknown. Unfamiliar. Uncertain. Unpredictable. Senses unreliable. And sure enough I was snagged up in the darkness! Luckily it was just a wild plant stretching its tendrils into my path and I was able to disentangle myself. Once I reached the end of the road that had served as a bridge over the highway, I could see the easy well lit street leading to the Metro. And it wasn't a moment too late as a huge semi truck turned onto the road I had just been walking. 

As I sat on the train reflecting over my journey, I couldn't help but marvel that God had led me from the unknown to the familiar. And the irony? The strange man on the train that kept talking to me was more alarming than the more than 2 miles I had traversed in the dark. God is faithful. Let Him hold your hand. "Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny." Psalm 73:23-24


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