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When Faith Feels Like Failure

A week ago today I merrily sent the majority of my luggage ahead. I intended to follow close behind with my last humanitarian bag and a plane ticket. A week later the bags are still ahead. I'm still behind. No plane ticket to speak of nor funds to fly across the country- let alone a continent.

My pastor preached a message this past Sunday about the next step. One of his points was that what the next step should be is a matter of perception, often shaped by our spiritual gifting. Administrative Martha thinks one thing. Forever Faithful Mary thinks another. Who is right?

Finally I have been corrected a lot this week. Disobedience identified and confessed to. Lessons taught and hopefully learned. School of Christ is what my spiritual mother calls it. And much like the child who loses recess never wished for playtime to end so quickly- I can't wait for this lesson to be concluded. Faith that it'll work out is like tracing the path of the sun across the sky. Faith in the evening feels like failure once again.

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